#and i love hearing abt other peoples tls

[hskinhome]

i put this in the tags on that last post but.

if anyone ever wants to talk abt swap tls of any sort please feel free to dm me @dndbug

even if its just to talk at me until you work out what youre trying to remember lol

[connect404]

So I saw this tweet earlier Abt the dynamic between Stanford and fiddleford during the partnership and how similar it was to Stanford and bill's dynamic (incoming essay)

AND I COMPLETELY AGREE

As much as I love fiddauthor (or just ford and fiddleford in general) , fiddleford doesn't deserve the type of treatment he got from Ford.

Throughout the entire partnership,ford treated him poorly and only ever cared about him if it was related to the portal. Fiddleford was willing to work with him even though he knew he was being treated poorly,not to mention he didn't know abt bill or his intentions yet (at the time) and still had his suspicions while working with ford. He remembered to give ford a gift (hand-knitted special gloves for him to wear with several failed attempts beforehand AND a snoglobe of the shack) yet forgot to get a gift for his own wife.

He does all this but the second he tells ford that the portal is dangerous and should be destroyed,ford gets angry at him and says he doesn't need him ???

That's not to say ford isn't completely a POS , he does enjoy fiddleford's company and his partnership with him. Ford even gets closure with fiddleford and actually apologizes to him for all the shit he did to him. Ford gets character development for the most part and actually becomes a somewhat decent person. He's terrible but that's what makes him a great character. He does horrible things but also acknowledges he did said things and actively tries to not do that,even if it's hard to avoid it.

(op said he's objectively an awful person for what he did but also loves him anyway because that type of writing is what makes his character compelling and honestly I relate)

It's a shame that ford favours results over sympathy/empathy. He only ever cares people when they are of use to him and when they say something he doesn't wanna hear,he throws them to the side and searches for another.

Another thing Abt ford is that he tends to be stubborn and an egoist. No matter the situation,he always puts himself before others. This can be a good thing sometimes (like when he gets electrocuted instead of just giving bill the equation) but it's always shown in a negative light. Stan dedicated almost his entire life to bring back his brother after several decades and he never even got a thank you or when instead of hearing Stan out on that invention he broke in highschool, he just let his brother get kicked out (Ik the twins are kinda crappy people but Stan breaking ford's perpetual motion machine was an accident damnit. It's been 30+ years and he still won't let it go 😭😭)

DESPITE SAYING ALLAT....ford isn't completely to blame for his behavior and how he treats other people around him to the point of being manipulative. Sure,his main flaws are what make him act this way (insecurity,need to be better than others,doesn't really think of others,etc.) but I think the only reason they've become worse is because of bill and how he manipulated ford,basically feeding into his ego and validating his beliefs. That, combined with his occasional selfish urges makes him want more.

More knowledge.

More praise.

More fame.

And this need for more makes him impatient. So much so that he starts using the same manipulation tactics (whether intentionally or unintentionally I'm not sure) bill used on him on fiddleford to try and get the same results,since said tactics work on him,so it would makes sense for him to do the same.

TL;DR yes,ford is a bad person but he's a bad person with layers and that's why I love him sm. Also fiddleford deserved better treatment

Anyway this'll probably get like 5 likes but uhhhh I'd love to hear any take on this really.

Agree,disagree I'd love it hear it

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

[nightfall-1409]

Oops so that was a while!

Nightfall Update ahead of the holidays! (and a push for myself to, blog again). some details under the cut but tl;dr it's been a while but im back here and trying to be back here! with new stuff! And updates to certain things too damn!

Rough year for me! Probably for many people really :(

good stuff first

uhhh biggest news is that through all the bullshit i was able to participate in the clone bang. The last 6 weeks of my life have been so stressful bc I had to write like 80% of the damn fic. It's a 125k monster of a fic that i feel quite proud of, the last 45k of it was written in literally the last two weekends. upcoming details in a promo post as soon as I hear back from my last artist <3

With that, though, my creative writing juices thoroughly uh. revitalized. to recovene followers: ezra chapter is coming soon :) that was a mean cliffhanger, i did not expect for my brain to literally commit mutiny :( sorry

I hope to have that done before bang posting starts (December baby here we come)

uhhhh only other thing is I am attending sanfrancisco expo ! lookin forward 2 that as well.

some generalized health stuff. the heat stroke i suffered last year was apparently maybe not a heat stroke (noted by the fact I was consistently worsening) and that sentence is still terrifying to me bc as i recall i couldnt fuckin read or turn around without wanting to fall over for like a month and a half there. But. whatever. It was a slow decline for a while, I was still getting some stuff out, but eventually, the amt of pain i was in overwhelmed me in june n it consumed me whole from july - august with slow improvement happening from then on.

it took me. quite a long time to see a specialist (and it was originally going to be longer! haha!) , but i've been seen. and am on treatment. and it sucks bc flashing lights still kill me (including literally shadows of the setting sun through a line of trees and a CEILING FAN are you KIDDING ME) and migraines r like. my best most toxic friend <3 it's so overrrr. We do not know what happened beyond my facial nerves just deciding to go balling insane. L. or what started that. L. But its finally getting better!! yay. we're so back.

to the ppl who've reached out 2 me / tagged me / putstuff in my inbox in ao3 or thought about me ;w; bro.. thank you !!! it killed me all the time bc it was like. I wanted to participate!! I want to have fun!! but the amt of energy things took. insane. but it was nice to be thought abt regardless. I want to be back now and have fun again. have a lovely night <3

[menlove]

Heeey! I need some help from the mclennon truthers community... And I love your blog, so I'll just leave the ask here :)

I was just lurking on the internet and found very strong opinions about rpf and just mclennon in general. and now I feel so upset... like i get it, they have been on the public eye for so long and every little part of their lives was used by the press to cause controversy. It must be tiring. And I know they are real people, and they have families, and children, and grandchildren, etc.

But at the same time is like I am SO sure they had something. Idk if it was something physical or whatever, but as a queer person, I know what it feels like to be in this homoerotic friendship and to deal with all the feelings and thoughts about sexuality and gender. IT WAS THE BLOODY 60S!!! ofc being in love or feeling attracted to your friend/partner/coworker/closest friend would be like insane, dangerous, and scary. And they have left so many secret hints for each other on their songs for example... And as you have said before, if one of them were a woman, people would absolutely say that they were fucking or had something going on.

So I am conflicted now about enjoying being a mclennon truther :( Is it weird to feel so attached to people who could be my grandparents?

Also I can't talk about it with friends bc they hate the Beatles or hate any rpf in general (or make fun of people who read on ao3)...

I just would like to hear some people's thoughts on this. I feel like this community is so small and frowned upon

I totally get you and that's a huge part of why I stopped taking abt the beatles & pretending like I thought they were an embarrassing guilty pleasure

but the thing is I genuinely think it's partially an age thing. like not to assume or anything & sorry if I'm mistaken but idk I feel like. for me personally and a lot of people around my age or even up to like 35 for The Realization Moment........ there truly comes a point where you stop giving a shit. like you eventually cycle around to the blissful cringeful carefree attitude of a child.

we spend so so much time worrying about how other people view us and our interests and our hobbies that we forget that we're supposed to have interests born out of joy, not anxiety

ANYWAY. tl;dr fuck em, be cringe, enjoy it, we love you!

[hekateinhell]

Tell me abt preggers armand please. I have a fic im working on and need 2 hear other peoples opinions on this topic 😈

🥹🥹🥹

okay so first of all i'm so upset i didn't see this ask until i checked my askbox on my phone which i almost NEVER do anymore since i'm getting old and prefer to just answer things via laptop where i can keyboard smash at full capacity raw and unfiltered but like MY DMS ARE OPEN I'M NOT ALWAYS THE FASTEST RESPONDER BECAUSE I'M IN GRAD SCHOOL AND LIFE AND WHATEVER BUT I DON'T TRUST TUMBLR ANYMORE BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THIS UNTIL YESTERDAY ON DESKTOP TUMBLR PLS DON'T DEPRIVE ME OF MY PEOPLE

now that that's out of the way:

it depends! you have to be more specific, like are we talking vampires? human AU? BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR EACH

canon verse/vampire:

don't ask me to explain the science or whatever lol i don't care, i just skip to the pregnancy part!

i think armand would be SO FUCKING FERAL and defensive, like he's lost so much and been so traumatized in so many ways, the idea of anything happening to his baby would have him in full gremlin mode. imagine a feral cat hissing and spitting and clawing and biting (not for food but for violence)!

on the other hand, he'd be obsessively bonded to his baby daddy (daddies, if there's multiple babies). he is not letting them out of his sight (i default to lestat here LMAO listen i want them to knock each other up so bad--separate universes obviously)

HE WOULD NEST SO FUCKING HARD!!! i was going to say i apologize for my brain but then i realized that i don't actually but i want him to nest on a pile of lestat's clothes and give birth right there like a fucking cat 🥹

ALTERNATIVELY THOUGH: i also had this idea that's like louis impregnates lestat and armand at the same time and they get to go through their pregnancies together and it's every bit as horny, hellish, and sweet as you'd imagine 🫶🏻 i've said it before and i'll say it again--lestat would be the WORST pregnant person ever dead or alive!!

now for human AUs:

i guess my thoughts here primarily but not exclusively exist within the same universe as I Feel You (sorry idk if you read that fic but tl;dr- IT'S PWP OF TRANS!ARMAND 2/3RDS OF THE WAY INTO GETTING A TRAIN RUN ON HIM BY HIS BOYFRIENDS LESTAT, LOUIS, AND DANIEL AND HE'S YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF CUM SO YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE'S GOTTA PEE ON A STICK RIP BOYS)

i think each of his boyfriends would handle the whole thing differently! lestat would be so over the moon because he's careless (clearly) but also so damaged from his own childhood he would just see it as a chance for a do-over, reality and responsibility be damned. lestat's on sex and backrub duty, and he's good at it (the backrubs i mean, sex is a 50/50 but you know what, at least he's enthusiastic and good at manhandling armand so that's 70% of it right now and the 30% is absolutely ridiculous horny pregnancy hormones)

louis panics internally as he immediately starts creating a spreadsheet of their finances. outwardly though, he's very calm and supportive and he's the one who's most able to comfort armand the most and settle him down during his crazy mood swings. armand basically lives in louis's baggy sweaters during the last trimester

daniel panics outwardly (listen LOL the whole premise of Our House is that human!daniel molloy is not ready for children and i find it hard to budge from that mindset, but he could ease into the Cool Uncle role quite nicely). he handles distractions and food cravings, and he might not be down to be a dad yet but he does buy very thoughtful and sentimental baby gifts every now and then that make armand tear up

i was gonna add mermaid AU thoughts but then i remembered armand's laying eggs instead (he's feral during that whole process too so i guess it's similar to the vampire version. i just love him so much okay!!!)

OH ONE LAST VERY IMPORTANT THING

pregnant!armand fics on ao3 I'M CRAZY ABOUT AND HAVE REREAD AT LEAST 10 TIMES:

shelter by @rainbowcarousels

it must be the clouds in my eyes and everything in that series by @its-ness-ness

[ruvviks]

ooooh very interested in hearing about daniil. spare some fun facts. what does he think abt vitali's fixer job.

also how often do vitali, daniil & roksana communicate with each other?

thank you!! so daniil is vitali's younger brother and to put it bluntly he is kind of a douchebag. never really did anything to help anyone out, always focused on doing his own thing, thought himself to be a lot better than his peers and this reflected in his behavior towards them, and all in all he loved stirring the pot and then excusing himself from the situation as if he wasn't the one who literally started it all (JUST like his mother fr)

this is an excerpt from chapter 9 of the broker:

tl;dr: he thinks it's absolutely ridiculous that vitali does business with mercs. daniil is a corpo boy through and through and he takes betrayal very seriously, and to him vitali essentially betrayed. well. someone?? something??? by becoming a fixer. if you were to ask daniil to be more specific he couldn't give you an answer but he just likes having reasons to be pissed at vitali. here's some more facts about him :]

ends up taking his wife's last name to distance himself from his parents

speaks with a generic american accent like his mother, rather than the russian accent his father, brother, and sister speak with

used to work for kang tao but got fired after he was unable to capture cato wu (she also worked for kang tao but her squad was accused of selling corporate secrets to arasaka (partially true) (it was actually just one guy) (he was selling the secrets to mikhail no less) (mikhail and cato used to work for GOLIATH security together before going their separate ways into different corporations) (the lore runs deep) so they had to be dealt with) and yes he will die mad about it

still doesn't know how to do laundry

smells very good to the point it's annoying. like he is not supposed to smell that good but he does

people in college used to think he was gay because of some of his mannerisms but those were just mannerisms he ended up subconsciously copying from vitali LMAO

so since the end of the broker, vitali is the only one of the three to remain in night city. daniil is moving to the east coast with his wife since they have a baby on the way, and roksana has completely vanished out of town without saying a word. though i do like to think they get back in touch at some point, but it just takes a long time and it's very hesitantly; which is very much on brand for their insane family

vitali and roksana used to play a game when they were younger where roksana would send him a picture of a place in town with as little detail as possible and he would reply with the exact location she was in. at some point, a few months after the conclusion of the broker, she would send him a picture out of nowhere; he replies with her location, and that's the end of that interaction. but it would start happening more and more until it would (after a year or so) happen several times a week, and roksana starts taking actual selfies in places and pictures with her friends and she genuinely looks a lot happier and healthier than before. she ends up returning to night city and much later on even invites vitali to her wedding ^_^

vitali and daniil would get back in touch many years later. daniil's child turns out to be trans and well daniil most definitely needs help because 1) he's stupid and 2) clueless and vitali clearly knows more than him about this. so he ends up hesitantly sending vitali a card for his birthday and ends up reaching out again not long after that, and of course vitali (despite how daniil treated him last time they saw each other, because vitali is a GOOD MAN. WITH A KIND HEART.) helps him out but mostly for the sake of daniil's kid so they don't end up having to go through all the shit vitali has been through. the brothers don't necessarily stay in touch as much as vitali does with roksana, but they're at least sort of on speaking terms again

daniil and roksana do not have contact anymore :( their relationship turned very very sour after vitali left home because vitali was basically the glue keeping the siblings together and without him everything was shambles. they both have their valid (and a few kind of questionable) reasons to dislike and even hate each other and thus don't wanna see each other anymore. roksana does not understand why vitali ends up reconnecting with daniil but stays out of it, and daniil just doesn't care about what else vitali is up to, he once again just cares about his own problems and needs vitali to help solve it :// basically he has NOT changed a single bit. JUST like his mother fr

[lokielly]

is it just me or does anyone else ever think about the hit queer media will take because of how quick people are to call things queerbait?

tl;dr: there's something so good about a slowburn that we won't get with queer media if don't allow these relationships to develop slowly, rather than fast so that you as a writer don't get accused of queerbaiting.

of course, i'm not saying queerbait doesn't happen. we do see it frequently. this is why i think people are too quick when it comes to calling things queerbait, because a lot of people have experienced it so much they're traumatized by it in a way. it's just there are a lot of things that aren't queerbait too.

my perspective here is that a lot of my favorite ships took 5-7 seasons to get together. and those ships are SO GOOD. because you see their relationship develop and they grow as people together before even acknowledging their feelings for each other at times. it's so cool and overall just very human.

i've never had this experience with queer characters because it's always so much faster (and a lot of that comes down to queer, especially sapphic, shows being cancelled). i think a lot of writers do this though because people will accuse them of queerbaiting. i remember hearing that people though ed and stede were queerbait at first. and now i'm seeing this with nandor and guillermo (both canonically queer characters on a show with other canonically queer characters, which i feel immediately disqualifies it as baiting). i'm not the biggest nandermo shipper in the world, but i feel like i could be if this plays out even longer. it's already good and complex because of it taking longer to play out (also, they don't have to end up together at all for it to be a canonically queer relationship btw. the show could end with guillermo being like "i hate you nandor i don't know why i was ever in love with you" or whatever and it would still be good. but that's a topic for another day).

this is all also on top of tv already killing the slowburn by taking such a huge fall from sitcoms having ~25 episodes per season to now like... 10 if you're lucky. so please i beg. don't kill the slowburn even further it's already on life support.

haiii :3 silly little ramble time for those of you that are reading under the cut... enjoy my internal monologue.

i promise btw that i'm not saying any of this to be mean to anyone that has called things queerbaiting that i said aren't in this post. i understand why people are quick to pull that term; this community is so traumatized as a whole. i just never watched any queer media until i was 20 years old so i've never gone through being queerbaited and my standards are all based on the heterosexual couples i watched on tv.

funnily enough, the reason why i never sought out queer media despite knowing i was queer since i was like 14 was because of knowing that it wouldn't be slow and that it would be too?? on the nose?? if that's the right phrase? our flag means death was the first thing that felt complex enough while still being a comedy, weirdly. then came a league of their own. and that's really all i've watched besides wwdits but like... i'm not watching wwdits bc i'm invested in nandermo so. that's different. idk why i started telling my story abt my relationship w queer media. but yeah. i need depth. not just "we're gay and in love"

[coachbeards]

okay now for a tl question: as someone who also dislikes season three, i'm curious to know how you would have liked season 3 to end? i'm pretty sure you've talked abt it before but i'd love to hear your thoughts.

well, i think there are a lot of things that could've happened....but i'm not entirely sure, as i haven't seen the season since it aired. that means i can't give the biggest in depth answer to it regarding every single tl character, so i'll just give my thoughts on what i think should've happened............................................for beard

first of all, he should've broken up with jane after mom city. i've talked a lot about that, and how i believe that beard's forgiveness of nate should've been shown as a forgiveness of himself as well, and by extension beard finally beginning his journey of self-healing. because, no. forgiving nate didn't Heal beard, not by a long shot, but it helped fix a little bit within himself that would've paved the road to his breaking up with jane. realizing he didn't need to be punished anymore.

so, if there was no jane involved in the finale, there would be no wedding or beard choosing jane over ted.

HOWEVER. i think it would've been amazing to see beard choose richmond anyways.........finally making a choice for himself. he came to richmond in the first place because ted asked him to, and he was willing to leave richmond all because ted asked him to. ignoring the jane of it all, beard choosing to stay in richmond because he wants to....he wants to continue coaching the team, he wants to complete their mission of winning the whole fucking thing, he wants to nurture those relationships he made and be .,,,, well. his own independent person, something we never really saw considering he was either following ted or following jane. never on his own.

regarding the other characters,

JAMES DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN. i am all for james's recovery arc, showcasing him in rehab and actively trying to get better. but just because a character is in recovery doesn't automatically erase all the harm they've done, nor does it mean their victims need to forgive them for anything. i think jamie should've been shown to grapple with what he wanted to do, forgive him or not, and come to the conclusion that he doesn't need to do anything. he doesn't need to care what james thinks of him anymore, he doesn't deserve to have that weighing on him. i think jamie should've been shown to be ... idk not Happy or Supportive, but be okay with james in recovery, but draw boundaries that he doesn't need to do anything past that. he should've had someone tell him it was his choice, rather than being told to forgive him.

roy should've been in therapy earlier on in the season than last second. i'm glad that roy is seeking help, obviously, but i think it would've bettered his arc if we saw more of it starting like,,,, 3x08 onwards. maybe. idk. again, i haven't seen s3 since it aired.

not sure about rebecca, since i didn't really pay attention to her arc that much in s3 (sorry to all) because i disliked the psychic aspect so much. i like her ending up with the dutch man! wish we got more of them between 3x06 and the finale, but i understand the romcom aspect of reuniting with someone you thought you'd never see again. i don't hate her ending !!!!

ted needed to go back to kansas, sorry. it wasn't dottie "forcing" him to go back, even though i will admit she's a pretty shit parent lmao. but it wasn't like that wasn't the plan from the very start. could it have been handled better? absolutely! should've jason played ted with way more emotion in 3x12? YES. but,,, come on. ted is a father first and foremost. before a coach, friend, romantic interest, etc. he's a father. and that's actually been a really big part of his character, so i never understood when people said that it "came out of nowhere" or it was so "out of character" for him.........to....be with his son? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE HENRY LASSO HATE. i swear some of y'all forget the message of being curious, not judgemental lmao. ted was always supposed to go back to henry. i don't agree with the idea of uprooting a literal child to a whole other country, though i can picture there being a time where they do move back to richmond together! the door is left open, not closed! i could picture him going there as a teenager and going to school there, but again. he's like.....12 lmao. ted's arc always circled around his son...and he needed to go back.

also keeley just deserved better. i'm perfectly okay with her remaining single at the end of the show, as i do think that that could've helped her heal herself and her relationships with other people and her career. no, giving her a romantic ending wouldn't have impacted her career, but i think i like where she ended up. on her own, with her new friend of barbara and their company, her and rebecca, and even her and roy and jamie!!!!!!! i think there's chances for their to be romance, but like. i think considering how much of keeley's arc has revolved around romance, it's nice that she didn't end up with anyone. idk.

[franki-lew-yo]

You know, as a bi person, I really kind of hate the aggressive pissing on hetero ships by virtue of it being hetero and not for the actual faults of the couple or characters.

Mind you; this is not the same problem as homophobes people who insist they don't hate gay stuff but have 0 gay couples and fight headcanons saying that they're gay. Those people, even if they don't know it; are homophobic. Their stubborness to face the fact that they're bigots makes them even more bigoted because bigotry does not inherently = being mean, but is about the inability to accept or think of other people. It's scary how many people earnestly think you have to shout some Westbro Baptist Church bs to be actually homophobic, and all that's before you get to internalized bigotry within the LGBTQ culture. Speaking of which...

I saw a thread where people were hating on Friendship is Magic because Pinkie Pie canonically gets with Weird Al's ponysona. --Obv I'm biased because that being made canon was the only part of the finale I liked as obviously I loved Cheese Sandwich for being his own character apart from Pinkie Pie and Weird Al-- but, BESIDES THAT; The complaint was talking about how some characters were "forced into being straight" by the writers and...really? You're incapable of headcanoning Pinkie and Cheese are bi or in an open marriage or just invalidating Pinkie now because she's the only one of the mane 6 who canonically had a kid with a stallion? Really?

There's being queer baited and wanting more gay couples that are also main characters and not off to the side cyclops police. And then there's getting mad that a character without a canonized sexuality is in a hetero relationship at least once in their life. Not even that they themselves are for sure straight, just that they're married or w the opposite sex.

Naturally, I only have women shippers to talk about. I can't quite talk for gay men or m/m shipcourse. Whenever I see lesbiansapphics be all "even canonically straight characters should be made gay"/"this ship would be fine if it were lesbians"/"this character should have gotten with this character so I can have lesbians", I do know it's all just joking. At least, I'm pretty sure. I know the reason you want more lesbians -I want more lesbians too because lesbians are great! You are right in how and what kind of scrutiny is held against you for liking women and like fiction women liking other fictional women...but...maybe don't be so judgemental of the ladies on your side who happen to like some m/f ships more than your appointed 'good' ship?

"We're not judgemental. You're the one who's judgemental for not being able to take some light rubbing abt your ship being straight."

Am I though? When you hate on a m/fships because seeing people support them in ANY WAY means you have to make fun of them just to validate your own feelings...idk pardon MY autistic arse for feeling a tad bit picked on or lumped in with the really not okay straights. Am I excluded from defending myself because I'm not the ideal lesbian? I'll never survive the sapphic hunger games if I don't have specific standards for my gay couples vs my straight ones?

I've seen people adore The Owl House for being gay because it is but absolutely hate that Willow/Hunter is implied and then be mad that Luz didn't get with Willow because "Amity is a bad girlfriend". It's not Dana's fault that Luz got with the "wrong woman", the show was written with Lumity being endgame and Hunter being an important side character because he's related to the main villain who is a man. Cope. I've seen people hate on MysteryElk because Elktaur/General has a standardly attractive' hunky design; I've seen people hate Edred from Unicorn Warriors Eternal for being an icky 'generic' guy. If you actually know the characters and the relationships in question with their lovers, you'd know that the fact that they're a man is the LEAST problematic thing they got going on! No, the men in these couples being women would not "fix" anything not just for shippers but in the actual show with the relationships. Like, you DO get that the problem is Nowhere King is the aggressor and that Edred is clingy and unsupportive, right? That those are the actual problems with these couples? And GOSH do I now hate Clone High's insistence that JFK is actually a decent person because he's not a 'pick me' like Abe. I hate that, in the wake of the internet realizing how bad tumblr sexymen nice guys really are, we apparently have to pick out the men who are "salvageable" or obsess over the problemed ones problems because they are men. Which- come to think of it, isn't that part of the issue with SnapeWife-types who stan flawed male characters like their the second coming but antagonize women characters for being flawed? Shouldn't we, idk, maybe encourage people to love characters for their flaws and not because we can 'fix' them somehow or hate them because they exemplify a person you hate irl?

Overall, the (hopefully) ironic demand for gay couples all the time like it's a supremacy is kind of irritating to me. I'm just not into living with the "this majority group are all the things wrong"-mindset, or even a "you deserve to feel the bigotry I already experience because that's cathartic for me". I know exactly why people are in pain. I know that pain because a lot of it is the same I have to go through. The reason I'm 'biting back', not at the gay community I'm in but at this specific mindset? Yeah it IS because I'm obsessed with people judging me, but I think it's because I'm self aware of this problem I have that I don't want to indulge the part of me that wants petty payback at all. When and if I like my petty payback, I want to make sure it's not at the people who might be judging me vs the people who actually, honestly are.

TL;DR: I love me some 'straights are not okay'-jokes, but there comes a point where I can not hear them when you clearly don't mean it as a joke.

No amount of active bigotry in this world will make the toxic absolutism you got as a result of that bigotry something I need to deal with as the butt of your anger. I and other bi/pan/ally people are not your stress dolls, inherently. The straights (a group) are not okay, not the straights (individuals), k?

[original-character-championship]

Bracket H Round 1

Poll 24

Skitt & Ena & Olive (@bootsieboots) vs. Apricity Nix (@decapod-appreciator)

495. Skitt & Ena & Olive (@bootsieboots)

skitt usez any, ena usez they/it/she (bc of her eczema), and olive usez he/they

The TL;DR 4 them is that theyre little fucked up guys living in a circus 2gether. Skitt is a repressed traumatized clown amphibian, Olive is a sweet jackalope who acts like an asshole as a defense mechanism, and Ena is a chaotic little shithead w a short fuse, whos actually secretly the mom friend. I like to put them in2 situations in my head and then never write said situations down. Also theyre all aspec and trans.

Skitt:

he is simply a little guy! (puts him thru the horrors puts him thru the horrors p) Oh, hes a bit fucked up actually.

-a mishmash of basically any amphibian features i think r cool! It is also a clown! Isnt that silly? Well its actually 4 trauma reasons. Lol. lmao.

-has rejection sensitive dysphoria and wants every1 2 love him so much all the time. Cries and throws up when it inevitably doesnt work out.

-ADHD!

-super in2 fashion and makeup. Can u guess why? Trauma reasons, of course! Honestly most of her hobbies r rooted in wanting 2 escape something.

-i cant think of anything else non-spoilery 2 put here. Uhm. ze really likes bubble baths and swimming.

Olive:

A little skrunkly autismic sourpuss. He wishes that he cud b more sincere w people sometimes, but every past attempt has been met w people shutting them down, in 1 way or another. The only person in the world he feels even mildly comfortable around is Ena (and later on in the story, Skitt).

-acts like an asshole around most people bc theyre used 2 being seen as one. And by asshole, i mean a little quiet, sulking, wet cat in a corner of the room who makes angy faces at any1 who invades their space.

-mute! This is bc bunnies do not have vocal chords. Communicates thru sign language and annoyed noises. Screams when overstimulated. Yes, bunnies can scream, just not using vocal chords. There r also other sounds they can make! (mostly annoyed sounds. He does purr as well! Just like a real bunny)

-very in2 music. Plays the harmonica and other woodwind instruments that r easy 2 steal. Can they play good? Uhm. havent decided yet actually.

-has a sort of heart shaped facial scar and a broken antler he got from entirely mundane causes (antler is permanently broke, dont question how that works bc i dunno).

-very incredibly touch averse, only tolerates Ena’s touch. theyre also fat and very fluffy! Great 4 cuddling! But he wont let u. Sorry.

Ena:

Money gremlin!!! Chaotic anarchist motherfucker!!! Probably owes u money! Is currently being gay doing crime. In this world, 1 does not have to pay/steal 2 survive, but Ena does it anyways 2 fuck shit up and stir the pot.

-escaped from a shitty orphanage w Olive.

-horrible anger issues. If Olive is a sourpuss, Ena is a bomb waiting 4 an excuse 2 go off. This is bc in the orphanage, they learned that no 1 wud listen 2 them unless they scratched and fought and clawed and bit and punched. (and shocked!). Shes generally chill tho, just, its easy 2 get on her bad side.

-sorta the therapist friend, bc its good at telling ppl what they want 2 hear. Her charismatic attitude also helps when scamming people.

-uses prosthetics! In this world, aquatic animals r given the ability 2 stay on land 4 extended periods of time via prosthetics! Want 2 know more? Ask me :>

-basically blind. Electric eels have awful eyesight, and shes no exception! She can only see bright lights and colors. They use electrolocation 2 get around. (please ask me what it is if u dont know, i am v happy 2 infodump abt anything oc related!)

Remember kids, a vote 4 my ocs is a vote 4 disability, queerness, anarchy, the found family trope, little guys being put in situations therye entirely unequipped for, furries, and much more!

Skitt has a triangular dress with purple and yellow split colors, and purple leggings. Pointy, slender legs. A long pointed yellow hat with a little green thingy on top (idk what to call it). Blue eyes with froglike pupils. Minty-green, short, curly hair. A classic clown makeup look (off-white facepaint, a clown nose, and pennywise-esque makeup lines going from the bottom of his eyebrows to the sides of his mouth.

Olive is a jackalope with short, olive/forest green hair swooping over one eye. His eyes are the same color as his hair. Most of their fur is darkish brown, while his belly, his inner thighs, and lower left arm is beige. their right arm, lower legs, and the top of their ears are black. Only wearing black arm warmers thanks to sensory issues.

Ena is a vaguely pirate-themed girlie. Dark brown skinned, with grey arms and greyish legs. Big thicc tail. Mostly black hair. Tattered black shorts and an even more tattered, dark green crop top. Has red eyes and a red sash tied around its waist. Lots of little spots all over their skin. lazy-eyed.

496. Apricity Nix (@decapod-appreciator)

she/her

she's a werewolf she's aroace she stalks people on accident. she didn't know what a crime was until the police went after her. her best friends are a supervillan and a failed actress. she thinks she would make a good detective (she wouldn't). she's fun and friendly and sweet but still a fully thought out character. she runs away from her abusive home to find her sister and in the process finds a whole new family. she even takes down the government.

Pris is a short, pale girl with  black hair styled to look like wolf ears. she has brown eyes with diagonal red pupils and a bit of a snaggle tooth on one side.

[rokkenjimaisland]

been talking abt it with a friend today so i'm curious how people interpret the metaverse and also the forgeries from a more mystery/real world angle etc. long (oops) so i'm cutting it

for example: i don't think the metaverse debates (i.e. parlor scenes) feature in the forgeries, by which i mean forgery = the in-universe stories sayo and tohya write. i also don't think ange features much in the forgeries either, tohya writing ange dying the gruesome death that she does in ep4 doesn't really make sense to me. nor does tohya having ange feature in ep7 the way that she does make sense to me either. also he obviously couldn't interpret anything from maria's diary so that means all of the maria sections in ep4 have to be explained through ange.

my friend n i were discussing it and sort of agreed that ep3 is like where ange starts to insert herself into the stories. girl is HIGHLIGHTING and UNDERLINING and writing "STUPID ONII-CHAN" in her printed copy of ep3 and that's how she features in the meta elements. and as she begins to sort of explode and unravel the truth she continues to slip and insert herself into the stories that ikuko and tohya publish. i know i just said she was highlighting and stuff but this doesn't necessarily have to be via annotating but rather mentally. i just think it is funny to imagine her going ham with a highlighter like "HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!!"

ep7 could easily just be a secret copy that ikuko gives ange without tohya's permission because i don't think he would ever publish something like that; this could also be why featherine features so strongly as an antagonist in ep7 for both BATTLER and ange, because maybe ikuko went behind tohya's back and gave the book that he intended to be a pure dream for the dead sayo to ange so she could learn the truth about what happened, and of course ange would instinctively hate the person who tells her that her parents killed everyone. and i don't really think that tohya would write the woman who took him in/his roommate as like an evil witch who is on purpose getting in the way of ange finding happiness. (parallels of ikuko to beato's role in ep8 go here?)

finally, i don't think of ep8 as an in-universe story at all, except maybe perhaps it could be a story ange writes for herself in her journal that then leads to her realizing how much she loves writing and wishing to share her heart with people as a children's book author. i guess this could also explain why the gameboard in this one features a child ange and why this translates to her wanting to write books for children. TT_TT

i'm beginning to ramble but tl;dr i think anything metaverse could maybe be explained by someone "alive" injecting themselves into the stories already written. this could be tohya reading ep1 and ep2 for the first time and struggling with the thoughts of battler resurfacing. i think the only episode that is actually a perfect 1 to 1 of a forgery is ep1. other than that, the forgeries and the episodes are not the same.

curious to see what other people think ^^ if i've made a post like this before mb i just feel like my interpretation is always shifting with this stuff so it's fun to hear what other people have to say about it too.

i also keep seeing people making comments about how they're mad that all the episodes are just in-universe stories and so i thought to myself "do these people really think that everything in the episodes was 100% written down on paper as a story?" because i don't think that at all

ik i said this at the beginning of the post but bear in mind also this is me asking from a real world pov/mystery pov not a fantasy one.

[sizhui]

hi hi clari ^_^ hope you don't mind me asking but how do you feel abt translations of your writing? lately ive only been translating simple sentences for my english class and i miss translating literature so i wanna ask if there any of your works you wouldn't mind being translated into hungarian

HELLO HELLO MY GOD i cant believe you regard my work as literature worth translating it makes me so so so incredibly happy! i recently rewrote my very first story BSCTTD HERES A LINK TO THE DOC! i would positively explode if you were willing to TL it! ill be even more happy if you text me during the process because im incredibly spintrested in the act of translation and id really love to hear about your process if you want! hungarian is a fascinating language to me, when i visited hungary i kept asking people to explain sentences to me word for word bc i love how close we are to each other and yet our languages are so different SO i give you full permission to do what you want with the text, get as artistic and crazy as you want with the tl and text me any fun to tl places and interesting hungarian facts! :3 YIPPEEE

[i-spilled-my-soup]

what are your thoughts on will's (presumed) main insecurity being 'powerless' compared to the other apollo campers? (im saying this prior to reading tsats so ig nothing is really 'confirmed') cus some ppl think it's goofy some ppl think it's interesting

he got minmaxed into damage reduction so i get that he feels insecure around all the dps people around him. but also the "weak but actually op" trope is very prevalent and i. kinda want to see an average built main character? like no fancy tricks? nothing glamorous? it would be so cool if will was killing people without even plague "powers" just really efficient methods of assassination(but i guess riordan wouldn't want kids to know how to do that) kinda goofy but i hope he stays powerless

tangent into my personal response to riordan books

whenever i think abt riordan demigod powers i gripe a little. a decent amount. cause the riordan storyline is a parallel to kids with absent parents, and that the kids are thrust into danger by their parents who don't even acknowledge them, right? and its huge character moment when the kids get even a little recognition, or when the gods straight up appear to talk to their kids? but in ancient myth, thinking homer, virgil, ovid, the demigods have no control of the elements or anything like that. their greatest power is their leverage of godly bias. cause the gods are everywhere. so the ancient trope and riordan trope are pretty much fully contradictory so i can't. it'd hard to add historical interpretation into riordan for me

and. it's so. it's y. you can be so cool without magic.

yes riordan's characters are cool and their scenes are noteworthy because they are flashy. because they can summon waves, and terraform, and shoot fireballs, and it must have been imperative for riordan when writing this series for a younger audience. but now i'm looking at these guys doing it constantly, and their strength keeps increasing, and the physical rebound keeps increasing, and i've . hit a wall in my interest? like no one is weak and no one is making mistakes and the greatest character flaws are jealousy, stubbornness, and... selflessness?

it all feels predictable at this point. like, i could not have predicted that this guy who survived three successive bouts of treason cause of his otherworldly rizz had said flutes were un-liberal as a kid, leading to flutes getting removed from the school curriculum, and also he had a sexy lisp. i couldn't have predicted that two bros would force sparta into their first ever military defeat, the philosopher bro using 3d chess strats in his phalanxes and the bodybuilder bro clutching with his 300 strong gay bodybuilder gang.

but. tsats preview where there's another obscure deity and she wants to hear about these teenagers' love lives? and it all begins with a star wars reference? yeah that's about what i could have expected

it just feels like there's no stakes at this point. i still stand that things would be way more interesting if they just died at this point, cause it's been drilled in that "you were so close to death" "you could have died" "you will die" and so on. but even so somehow i didn't feel much when the side characters or main characters died in hoo or toa?

it could be the direct characterization . riordan , especially in recent days, really loves his direct characterization. i think so, cause i did like the bits in tower of nero when the characters were just being silly and being friends.1!! like. just talking about cows. just throwijg each other around. the good stuff. the characters just feel like flat pngs and riordan adds filters to them every other chapter

tl;dr: my tastes have shifted to out of pocket ancient greek and roman myth/history and i don't enjoy romances

[bonesandthebees]

Some random questions xd (optional dw)

do you like hermitcraft? cause im brainrotting abt it lmao

what is your fav color? mines green!

if you could pick any power in the clinic!universe what would you pick and why? personally i would pick Phils powers cause i want to flyyyyy

What DND moral alightment are you? if u dont know what this is dw, im a true neutral

what is your answer to the trolley problem? i think i would move the lever but idk

If you had to pick one persons lore on dsmp whos would you pick and why? i think i would chose quackity's

What is a fic idea you have but dont think would do well/ isnt something you feel like writing?

what is a comfort movie/show/video? mine isnt a movie but its a 3 hour long techno vid haha

given the chance to be in MCC who would you pick for your team?

i just felt like this btw:) you dont have to answer any of them btw^^

-👑 (king)

oooo these are fun questions!!!

no I don't watch hermitcraft, but I hear bits and pieces from the people on my tumblr dash and my twitter tl who do watch it. also, I've watched 3rd life and last life (and part of double life) which have a lot of the hermits in them, so I'm mostly familiar with the hermits through that (I will say that I am not immune to good times)

yellow is my fav color!

oooo I'd probably pick wilbur's power. siren abilities hello?? insanely powerful man. if not his then I'd go with niki's because I always wanted to be a waterbender like katara when i was a little kid

uhh I'm either neutral good or true neutral, not exactly sure which

I have no idea what my answer would be tbh

if you mean pick someone's lore as in my favorite lore, it'd be wilbur's hands down. he created such a complex and fascinating character who was incredibly consistent in his characterization, I brainrot over c!wilbur so often so everything from him is my favorite

oh god most of my google drive is full of fic ideas that either wouldn't do well or I just don't feel like writing lmao. one example is that I love coming up with aus of movies but rarely do I actually wanna write them out entirely. one movie au I think about so often but would never get around to writing is an au of the movie Push. Push is not a very good film. it's fun! but it's not good lmao. the concept was SUPER cool to me though. it's a movie about people who have psychic powers that are hunted down by an evil government organization yknow the drill, but the plot is about a guy in his 20s who is a 'mover' (has telekinesis) that's kind of down on his luck and doesn't have much of a life. he gets dragged into a plot to steal a metal briefcase because a 13 year old 'watcher' (sees the future) shows up on his doorstep and tells him she sees the two of them teaming up to find this case and she's convinced it has a shit ton of money in it. a lot of other stuff happens but the main two characters have such older brother/little sister energy that i literally can't stop thinking about crimeboysing it. it would be so fun but I'll never write it unfortunately.

hmm... one of my favorite self indulgent movies to rewatch just for fun is a super cheesy 90s film called hackers. the fashion is peak bad 90s fashion and the plot is so stupid, it's so much fun I adore it. I love rewatching it to cheer myself up

OOOOO GOOD QUESTION! ok i'm assuming you mean cc's I can pick. now the thing is, I suck at minecraft. so while I'd love to give myself a goated team so i can win, I don't think I'd have much of a chance of winning either way. but I'll give two teams anyway, one for a chance at the win, one just for fun content. so for a chance to win: tommy, phil, and shubble. for content: wilbur, wisp, and jack manifold. it'd be terrifying but also hilarious.

thank you for the questions these were really fun!!

[litttlestars]

hi, i've been following for a while and i was reading your recent posts on what happened between you and someone else. first, sorry to hear you had to deal with that (you don't deserve it at all)! second, i'm also going through a similar situation, and i was hoping you could tell me what you think about it? tl;dr i've liked this person for a while and they feel the same, but they don't want to commit to anything yet. they said they want to talk more with me and told me they care about how i feel and making me happy, but recently they've been really distant and i'm not really sure why. i've tried talking about it with them but communicating with them is difficult since i usually get left on read often or don't get a response until later. just recently i asked if i could talk to them about something important regarding us. they gave me permission to, i told them about it, and i got left on read again; only to wake up in the morning and find them playing games with their friends. i still don't know their side of things but i feel really hurt, esp after they said they wanted to communicate more with me. but i also feel guilty about feeling hurt by this in the first place, and feel like i should continue to be more understanding about this. what do you think i should do?

im so sorry about that lovely, first of all i just wanna say your feelings are TOTALLY VALID and it's rly hurtful to have someone not put in the same effort of mending the relationship as you do. you should not feel guilty for being hurt bc it's a completely normal and natural reaction to being brushed off. plspls honor your emotions love bc they are important, you are not terrible for recognizing that you are hurt and telling someone how they hurt you. you have every right to feel how you feel.

im not sure if im good at giving advice so def take what i say with a grain of salt and think about how YOU would like to go abt things as well!!

from what you've told me i feel like you've been plenty understanding. just because someone doesnt want to commit, doesnt mean they're allowed to shed all human decency and decide when and how they want to communicate with you, esp when they said that they want to make you happy and keep talking to you. im firmly against the idea that we dont owe people anything- we do. especially if they explicitly said they wanted to keep talking and that they cared about you. if they like you and care about how you feel then i feel like they should at least try a little harder to communicate even if they're not so good at it ? you deserve someone who respects and reciprocates your time and effort, even if they're a little hesitant about getting into smt more serious. all you're doing is asking to talk, and that's the bare minimum. maybe they need time to think over their response so i suppose i'd give it a few days but if they dont reach out after a few days i'd def pop in and say something abt how them leaving you on seen made you feel and how you're viewing the situation as of rn and that you care abt this relationship and this person so talking things over is rly important to you! i would avoid any sort of accusatory statements and moreso focus on how you're feeling and how you would like to move forward bc i suppose you never know what someone is feeling or thinking. it's hard to find a healthy balance between being understanding but also honoring yourself, but i believe in you!! :') you seem like an amazing person and you don't deserve to be strung along.

tl;dr DONT FEEL GUILTY FOR FEELING HURT!!!! share how you feel, your perspective, and remember that relationships require effort from both sides! if you find yourself unable to get anywhere with this person, it's not worth it. you can't force someone to talk to you which is tough, but there are plenty of other people out there who DO actually care about you and they will put in the effort to actively show you so that you're not left questioning in the dark or always waiting on them.